Archive for May 25th, 2010

They Can’t Really Close a Park

Tuesday, May 25th, 2010

In New York, we have some of the most beautiful parks in the United States.  This week we also have some of the most beautiful weather imaginable – Hawaii weather – hardly a cloud in the sky with high temperatures in the ‘80’s and no rain.

Families and couples should be flocking to our parks, right?  Wrong.   Many of our most picturesque parks and historic sites are CLOSED because our proudly-disfunctional legislature and tantrum-throwing governor can’t agree on a budget.  In New York, our budget BY LAW has to be agreed to by April 1st.  But, of course, April 1st is April Fool’s Day –  a traditional holidays for imbeciles, nitwits, pinheads, and members of the New York State Government.

We have a $9-Billion dollar gap in our bloated budget and closing the parks will save an estimated 1/2 of 1% of that.  Even politicians are smart enough to realize the cuts are more symbolic than significant but the Governor is snitting the parks closed anyway.

What can we do about it?  I can’t tell YOU what to do about it – but I’ll tell how I’m going to enjoy this holiday weekend: a friend and I are going to a CLOSED park and grill some burgers and maybe go swimming!  We’ll have someone drop us off so cops (on double-time holiday pay) can’t give us a parking ticket. We’ll pick up our own litter and make sure our fire is out when we leave.

Will cops and State Troopers organize patrols to find us in the picnic areas and beaches?  Probably not.  What will they do if they catch us?  Give us a ticket for trespassing in our own park?  I’d proudly hang it on my wall and send copies to my friends.

Do you know what will bother me most about my anticipated adventure?  I don’t really care for the outdoors all that much and don’t like eating outside at all.  But something tells me a burger cooked with freedom from government lunacy might taste pretty good.

Hope to see you out there!