Archive for May 18th, 2010

Conservatives Annoy Me

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

The Last Conservative to Laugh - 1964.

Barry Goldwater, the last conservative who laughed – 1964.

I’m a Libertarian and dislike both liberals and conservatives.  But somehow conservatives just annoy the hell out of me.  I’m beginning to understand why.

First of all, I am not a closet liberal – promise.  I think English should be the only language of our country, our borders should be closed to all but legal immigrants, there’s too much welfare, people should be paid for NOT having kids, and we should pave the damn rainforest.  I don’t care at all about global warming and I love capitalism.  How’s that for a “not exactly liberal” tilt?

I know conservatives don’t love me much either.  I protested the war in Vietnam and think our two current conflicts are complete fiascos.  I think drugs should be decriminalized and there should be no laws against consensual crimes like gambling and prostitution.  I believe in homosexual rights. I don’t think we are a  “Christian” nation but a nation of religious freedom. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, free birth control, more sex education, and Plan B.

Neither side would exactly choose me for a spokesperson and I still dislike both of them.  So why do I have this gut reaction against conservatives?

First, it seems conservatives would like for time to stand still or flow backwards.  They’d love for America to be as it was in the 1950’s.  But it will never be yesterday, tomorrow. The past is gone.  The only questions we face today are how do we deal with new challenges? The liberals don’t have many good answers but at least they’re asking the right questions.

Second, conservatives seem to be a gloomy lot.  They’re always yelling “the sky is falling, the sky is falling!” whether it’s a commie under every bed, the country going bankrupt in the next ten minutes, or radical Muslims trying to slit the throats of our pets.  How glum can you get?

Anyway, I’m glad I’m starting to figure this out.  I’m also smart enough to  know stereotypes aren’t the exclusive property of radio talk show hosts.