Archive for September 8th, 2009

Did a Star Give You the Clap?

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

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What’s this silliness when performers receive a round of applause and then start clapping back to the audience? Now it’s beginning to happen EVERY time and it’s getting really annoying. Of course by now, you’d figure every empty-headed actor and actress would be doing it because they see everyone else doing it, but when Dustin Hoffman, Ellen DeGeneres, and my ex-lover Kelly Rippa does it, I’m COMPELLED to speak up.

Who started this lunacy and for what reason? If that person is ever discovered, I think he should be given a dose of the clap and be forced to watch modern situation comedies WITHOUT their canned laugh-traks. Clap over these, buddy!

What are entertainers “saying” when they give back the clap?

A. “Well, YES – I am a helluva performer – but your paltry applause hardly does justice to my magnificent talent. Here – I’ll help you by clapping for myself! God, I’m GREAT!” -or-

B. “Oh, stop! YOU are the REAL heroes – the ones who pay out your hard- earned cash for my less-than-worthy talents” (they’re being more honest than modest here). -or-

C. “Applaud me? Nay, I shall applaud you! We’re all equal here. Even though I make 10-kazillion bucks a year – and you have to wait hours in line for free tickets to be a TV prop called ‘audience’, there’s no difference in the eyes of the Lord. I LOVE the little people! God bless you each and every one!”

Every entertainer who gives an audience a clap-back should be given ‘The Clapper’ for Christmas AND NOTHING ELSE. Then they can clap and not look so stupid.

If an audience has never clapped for you, come to: www.PresentationsUnplugged.com