Archive for May 8th, 2009

Wanna ball?

Friday, May 8th, 2009


This is the last time I ever held a ball correctly. I stunk at basketball (couldn’t dribble), was lousy at football (“Just stand there and  try to plug a hole in the line, Paolo.”),  was truly embarrassing in baseball (“Just swing at the damn thing!”), and fortunately,  never played soccer.

I’d like to think I did better at solo sports like wrestling – but my nickname was “Canvasback the Light Counter.”   College kids can be so cruel.



Friday, May 8th, 2009

The BEST Bum Line of 2008


“Buddy, can you give me a cigarette?  I left mine in the machine.”




“Franco, could you give me $2 for a ham sandwich?”

“Bernie – you can’t buy a ham sandwich for $2!”

“Oh. Then can you give me 5?”

(He got it.)