Archive for April 9th, 2009

You Can’t Walk to Nowhere

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

(Yes, my calves are this big. No, it’s not an indication of anything else.)

Doctors have been telling me to walk for years. Most out of their offices – some for exercise. “Exercise?” I’d say patting my stomach, “How could I maintain a body like this if I exercised?”  That would most often end the discussion along with the usual eye roll or head shaking.

C’mon! Why would I walk? I’ve had a car for over 40-years. That’s why you get a car – so you don’t have to walk, right? And whenever anyone mentions ‘exercise’, I think of Mark Twain saying, “Whenever I get the urge to exercise, I lie down until it passes.”

Of course I haven’t had a car for over a month now so I ride the bus (still a delightful trip) – or walk. I walk to where no bus goes. I walk when I’m impatient for the bus to come and try to make it to the next stop. I walk to the stops since they’re not on nearly enough corners for us lazy people. I walk when there’s a long line of snotty kids or raging teens. Or old people who’ll make me wait until my next birthday as they do their impersonations of crawling molasses. As the weather gets nicer, I seem to think up more excuses – to walk. Incredible.

I finally have to admit it. I like to walk. I especially like the fact I lost over 20-pounds this month but it’s more than that. I used to walk everywhere when I was a kid. To and from school. To town and back – sometimes twice in a day. To my girlfriend’s house (Well, she really didn’t know she was my girlfriend – but I figured if I kept walking around her block countless times, she’d get the hint. She didn’t.) I used to walk everywhere. I’m doing it again (walking – not trying to impress a 12-year old girl).

So why is walking a big deal now and it was just boring exercise for so many years? I’ve discovered the secret: you’ve got to walk TO somewhere – a destination. I can’t just stroll, amble, perambulate, or (please!) slow down to smell the flowers. I’m not doing it for my health – that’s just a side benefit. I’m walking to GO SOMEWHERE.

And that’s where you’ve got to go if you want to successfully walk – somewhere (and back).