Archive for April 1st, 2009

Rescuing an Orphan from Madonna’s Riches

Wednesday, April 1st, 2009

Malawi is a small African country crippled with poverty and racked with disease. The UN estimates that half of the 1 million Malawian children who’ve lost parents have been orphaned by AIDS. In 2006, Madonna filmed a documentary about the crisis and founded ‘Raising Malawi’ a worldwide charitable organization which donates money to help the children of AIDS victims.

In that year, she also fell in love with a baby orphan girl whom she wanted to adopt as she has two other Malawian parentless children. It seems the 50-year old material girl has turned into the maternal girl. Motherly Madonna Louise Ciccone’s Italian genes just could not be denied.

Jackpot lucky kid, right? Wrong!….says the “Human Rights Consultative Committee”, an international coalition of adoption agencies. Recently it said that adoption should be the last resort and children need to be taken care of by their own family. Say what?

Mercy James is a child whose extended family members are alive and we urge Madonna to assist the child from right here,” a statement from the Committee said. And because of Madonna’s money and status, they accused her of acting like a “rich bully.” A judgment on the case is expected today. Madonna has remained silent so as not to hurt her cause – but I would be glad to address this group:

“Listen up you bunch of ungrateful, ignorant assholes. This kid’s “extended family” consists of a mother who’d dead, a father who’s abandoned her, and a grandmother who loved her so much she dumped her in an orphanage. I smell a rat here – since any rational mind realizes the child would be much better off in the family of one of the world’s richest, most socially-conscious women, I suspect there’s something else involved here. What is it? Bribes, payoffs, a silent agenda?”

“In the West, we have this strange practice of trying to “do what’s best for the child”. Now if the kid stays there, she has more of a chance of dying from AIDS before the age of puberty -than she does of getting a college education. No one denies Madonna is an excellent Mother who loves kids. It’s positively cruel to deny a child a loving Mother who will give her a privileged lifestyle with the world’s best health care and unlimited opportunities for her future – as opposed to living in a dumpy orphanage.”

So slap that in your damn drum and beat it.

UPDATE: Madonna lost her case.  A surplus of intelligence is not one of Malawi’s problems.

Will B. Goode (Me too.)

Wednesday, April 1st, 2009

Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle was a comedian, director, and silent film star in the 1910’s. At his peak in 1921, he threw a wild party at a posh San Francisco hotel which may have been the quintessential example of early Hollywood debauchery. Virginia Rappe, a film “bit” actress (read: hooker) was supposedly raped by the 300+ pound Arbuckle – allegedly with a wine bottle. Unfortunately, Ms. Rappe died 3-days later from ruptured internal organs.

“Fatty” went through three trials (!) in California which did NOT convict him of manslaughter despite histrionic, career-oriented politicians. However – his films were banned, his career was ruined, and he was publicly ostracized. Although Arbuckle was acquitted by THREE juries and received a written apology, the scandal ruined him.

In 1932, he began a brief comeback just before his death – less than a year later . One of his only friends, Buster Keaton, (whom he “discovered”) said he should have used the name “Will B. Goode” to discourage public controversy.

I was told this story by my “friend”, “lover”, “doctor”, “counselor”, “spiritual advisor” – I won’t be more specific. She said, ‘Franco, you’ve been fighting too long. It’s time to relax – just calm down. You’ve fought against almost every “accepted” aspect of society for over 40-years! You’ve been vilified, pepper-gassed, ridiculed, hit with cops’ clubs, mocked, scorned, insulted, and laughed at – because society can’t – or won’t – see the world as you see it. It’s time to stop this rebellious madness and accept the world just as it is.”

I must admit, my eyes began to tear up. I couldn’t say anything. She went on:

“You’re older now – time to let the kids take over. The Universe thanks you for your loony rants! (We both laughed.) But really – what more can you do? You care too much and do just about everything to sabotage your health – and you’ve been successful at that! Really – you did a lot – but, in the end, what did it all mean to the ‘great mandela’? Now you’ve got ulcers, anxiety, high blood pressure, cirrhosis of the liver, acid reflux, etc., etc., etc. Why? For what?. Will you please just be good?” Just be good! I turned away.

She’s right, of course. It’s probably time to “be good” – go sane. This will probably be my last blog entry. It’s been a neat ride. Since July, this silly bit of almost-daily drivel has had over 40,000 hits! Incredible.

I’ve got some new things to do. My sisters in France want me to stay with them for awhile but, of course, Tuesday and Wednesday need me here – they’ll be starting college in the Fall. You can always reach me at: I have a new, future ex-wife who makes me laugh (she says she’s laughing WITH me. Right.) and my contract with the “Web Master” that hosts (?) this site expired yesterday and I don’t know how to renew it. Does it just float away to electronic heaven? Who knows?

Well, I hope I’ve made you laugh and think once or twice here. If I ever did both at the same time – it’s all been worth it.

kind regards,