Archive for March 30th, 2009

Bumper Spagetti Crop Expected

Monday, March 30th, 2009

It will be April Fool’s Day in a few days and things are looking bleak. Does anyone (besides me) have fun anymore? When was the last time you had a good belly laugh? Look, I know the country’s going to hell, you’re probably going to lose your job, your kids are going to college on your dime and majoring in “Disappointing Mom & Dad”, Elvis is dead and you’re not feeling all that well yourself – but for crissakes, LIGHTEN UP. Your life today is not a dress rehearsal – this is it! Aren’t you supposed to have a little fun here? Even the Bible says, “Be Merry” (Although women have interpreted this as “Be Married” – Homosexual men as “Be Mary” and Nadya Suleman – Octopussy – as “Be Many”).

The UK has always had a better sense of ‘humour’ than America. On April 1, 1957, the BBC reported a bumper crop of Spaghetti because of a mild winter and better control of the feared ‘pasta weevil’. They even showed footage of peasants happily picking ripe spaghetti from the trees.

The network was shocked at the response. Thousands of Brits jammed its phone lines asking how they could grow their own “Spaghetti Trees”! “Keeping a stiff upper lip” (in other words, not laughing it’s electronic ass off) the BBC diplomatically delivered this answer:

“Place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”