Archive for February 24th, 2009

Taste that Beats the Others Warm

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

Hindus aren’t big on cheeseburgers. When they shop, sausage and beef jerky don’t ‘fly off the shelves’ either. And a big slab of sizzling filet mignon could be enough to fill a set of loincloths. But the world’s largest democracy doesn’t have to eat what we eat – and we don’t have to drink (thankfully) what they driink: a soft drink made from cow urine.

We know cows are sacred and honored in India but there are a few women whom I felt were sacred and I honored them – but I also hoped they’d close the bathroom door while going #1 (#2 was non-negotiable.). Actually very few needed to be asked.

Anyway, this bovine brew is being developed by the Cow Protection Department of the RSS, India’s largest and oldest Hindu nationalist group. (See what happens when farmer unions get out of control?) Hindus have been pushing the health benefits of drinking Bossie’s “other wet drink” for thousands of years.

Om Prakash, the head of CPD, said the drink — called “gau jal,” or “cow water” — in Sanskrit – “won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too. It will not be carbonated and it will be devoid of any toxins.” Right.

Now, I’m no expert on cow piss but I would guess the whole thing is pretty toxic and if you take out the toxins, really – what’s the point? Well, of course, there is another point – Hindus believe their whole country is going to hell because of a torrent of Western cultural influences best symbolized by Coke and Pepsi. And gau jal just might be what the yogi ordered to stem the flow (so to speak). Neither Coke nor Pepsi has returned my calls for comment.

Of course nobody has asked my opinion – but I think the whole thing is udderly ridiculous – but what a pisser! And if you want to try it?  Urine good company!