Archive for February 23rd, 2009

Amy Hits Pole in Good Career Move

Monday, February 23rd, 2009


Have you ever been to Albion, New York? Most people who go there, don’t want to – and most people who are there, just want to leave as quickly as possible. Albion is a small upstate NY town which has two prisons and, (sorry, Albinions) not much more.

Amy Fisher, the “Long Island Lolita”, got to Albion in a rather dramatic fashion and left in an even more stunning way. In 1992, Amy, then 17, drove to the home of her boyfriend, Joey Buttafuoco to tell Mrs. Buttafuoco about her husband’s new romance – Amy. Mrs. B didn’t like the idea very much so the two started discussing the matter on the porch. Probably beginning to lose the argument, young Amy whipped out a handgun and shot Joey’s wife in the face. End of discussion.

Ms. Fisher was charged with attempted murder but pleaded guilty to one count of assault in the first degree. In December 1992, she was sentenced to 5–15 years in Albion prison. Like virtually all prisoners, Ms. Fisher did not like her new digs. Unlike most cons, she devised a scheme to check out of the joint using just a few parts of her body – mainly her head.

Ms. Fisher knew that NYS Correctional Officers may not have sexual relations with convicts even if the prisoners say ‘yes’. The inmates may not legally say ‘yes’ because they’re protected wards of the state and sex acts are considered statutory rape. Unfortunately, sex acts are not uncommon but are difficult to prove in a system favoring the guards.

And then along came Amy who said ‘yes’ quite a few times and saved the memory of her romances in her panties. On Visitor’s Day, the very clever Ms. Fisher managed to transfer her soiled souvenir to her Mother (“Here, Mom.”) who brought it to a lab for DNA testing. The dumb guard was fired and Ms. Fisher departed Albion in a long, white limousine.

In the last 10-years, Amy has had her ups and downs, ins and outs. She’s authored two books about (what else?) herself, got married, had a daughter, wrote an advice column, got a boob job,created a porn site starring (who else?) herself, and made a sex tape which sold quite well.

However, Ms. Fisher missed the pubic limelight – so she started touring the country as a well-known, well-paid stripper.  Recently she said, “I’ll do this until my fans tell me, ‘Dear, please put your clothes back on – you’re too old.”