Archive for January 8th, 2009

Roomin’ With Portia

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

 

 

 

Ellen DeGeneres just won the ‘Peoples’ Choice Award’ for Best TV Talk Show Host. I personally would have preferred Kelly Rippa but that’s only because of our past, well-documented affair. Anyway, Ellen took the stage to graciously accept her award and thank her multitudes of fans. And, her “roommate” Portia.

 

ROOMMATE?!

In August, 2008, Ellen married Portia de Rossi in an intimate ceremony at their home in Beverly Hills. And since she’s a wildly popular lesbian television star (as opposed to someone like Rosie O’Brother!), she must know that her lifestyle is helping to make easier being gay in America. So I think she could have done a whole lot better in choosing a term to designate her ________, Portia.  And therein lies the problem.

What do you call your basic, married gay person?

“Friend” is a little limp for this ‘special’ friendship – but certainly better than ‘roommate’.

“Husband” or “Wife” is a little dicey for immediately assigning stereotypical gender roles.

“Significant Other” just sucks.

“Partner” sounds like a business deal.

“Loved One” implies casket time.

“My … ‘Everything’, ‘World’, ‘Life’” … are overstated and definitely tough to live up to.

“Squeeze” …. Oh, pul-leez!

“Bedmate” would definitely be a conversation stopper in most social circles.

“Best Person” – blechhh.

“Better Half” – only if you wear a crew cut and white socks.

“Lover” – This is my personal favorite but probably too foreign-film sounding for most people.

Oh well – maybe it’s a good time to forget calling anyone anything and let people figure it out – or not. I think Ellen’s appreciation could have been more eloquently expressed by a simple, “Thank you, everyone. And a special thank you to Portia.”

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Paolo’s BEST post on Homosexuality? “Homosexuality is an Abomination”

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