Archive for December 23rd, 2008

Jingle Bell Cyst

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

A much-requested ENCORE PRESENTATION

My friend Christine used to be a dancer.

She got injured, couldn’t work for a long
time, and had to accept public assistance
for her medical needs.

Unfortunately around Christmas a few
years ago, she developed an ovarian
cyst and had to go to the Emergency
room.

Maybe it was because she was a young
dancer or on Medicaid – but for whatever
reason, she said she was never before
treated as disrespectfully in any medical
facility. She believed men “examined”
her who might not even have been
doctors!

Since it was around Christmas, I put
some new lyrics to a traditional song
to commemorate this memorable
occasion.

(Sung loudly to the tune of ‘Jingle Bells’)

Got a cyst, got a cyst,
on my ovary.
Now my legs are wide apart,
in Emergency.

Everyone gets to look,
the Doctor let’s them see.
The nurse wants a little nook,
then the lab guy winks at me!

Here comes the lunchroom crew,
plus the guard guy from the door.
They want a better view,
and they start to clap for more.

Oh, got a cyst, got a cyst,
on my ovary.
Now my legs are wide apart,
in Emergency.

A guy feels up my breasts,
looking for lumps to treat.
He wants to run some tests,
but he walked in off the street!

They think that we’re all tarts
Doc’s wearing a big grin.
He’s pointing out my parts,
and R-News is looking in!

(Chorus) Oh, got a cyst,
got a cyst, on my ovary.
Now my legs are spread apart,
in Emergency.

If you get a goddam cyst,
and the county pays your bills,
don’t think that you’ll be missed,
run like hell for the hills!

It all seems kind of shady;
they don’t really care for you.
They just want a pretty lady –
and her ‘womb with a view’.

(Chorus) Hey! got a cyst,
got a cyst, on my ovary.
Now my legs are spread wide apart,
in Emergency.

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The UK is OK!

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

My Blog Counter is about to turn over 20,000 hits since July. I’m very flattered and a little surprised. One of the things that surprises me is the number of hitters from the UK. I have no idea why.So, UK visitors, help me out here. Please drop a comment or e-mail me at fpaolo1@rochester.rr.com. Tell me how you got to “Everyone is Entitled”.

My humor (or humour- as I may begin to spell it) and views are not very popular in America. Many people in the US are in a bitchy mood. Our stock market has dropped nearly 40% in the last year, the Black guy won, and winter sucks out loud in most parts of the country.

Do you think people would like me more in the UK?  Is cheeky chic-ee there? If you invite me over, I’ll tell you who killed John Kennedy and what Kelly Rippa is REALLY like in bed. Hell, if France can adopt Jerry friggin’ Lewis, certainly you could favour me, right?

So let me know. OK UK?

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