Archive for December 20th, 2008

Even Blind Squirrels …

Saturday, December 20th, 2008


OK. I’ve got to give credit where it’s due. Although I’ve always sung along with Dylan’s “You Don’t Need to be a Weatherman to Tell Which Way the Wind Blows,” they got it right yesterday. Wow – did they get it right! Big winter storm here in the Northeast. Co-o-o-ld – blowing, drifting snow – slippery side walks – foot-stomping snow dances when people finally get inside – stalled cars – as my ex-wife used to say, “the whole bit.”

The most annoying thing? Peoples’ trite comments about the storm. “Cold enough for you?”, “Boy, is it cold!”, “Keeping warm?”, “It’s REALLY coming down now!” (what was it doing before on your planet, Skippy – going up?) “They say we’re getting’ another (9) (10) (12) inches!” “Good day for staying in!” “Have you been out yet?” (setting you up for another machine-gun burst of clichés – no matter what you say).

I contributed to the buffoonery by plowing my car into a snow bank, getting stuck, snuffing the engine, and then waiting for AAA. What a great group they are – seriously! Efficient, professional, and fantastic customer service. The AAA guy came in less than an hour – remarkable considering the number of kamikaze drivers littering the sides of the roads.

While I was waiting (a skill at which I’m not really good) some doofus emerged from the blowing storm, looked at my stalled car in the snow bank and said, “Well, they said not to drive tonight. Guess they were right.”

My fantasy? Whacking the nit in the back of his head with a snow shovel as he was walking away.