Archive for December 9th, 2008

Getting Harder to Eat a Burger

Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

What the hell are Happy Cows from California? Do they rollerblade or surf? Do they Moo with a Valley Girl accent? I’ve seen a lot of cows standing around – and they don’t look exactly thrilled with their lives. But those were New York cows – I assumed they were ‘contented’. I thought they were just hanging out waiting for their night in shining Armour.

I’ve been to California many times but I don’t remember seeing any cows.  Were they at the beach or getting their vibes milked? Were they hiding from the birthplace of McDonalds, the largest meat grinder in the history of people?

Like any farm animal raised for food, we’d like to think cows don’t think. Unfortunately, studies now show they think as well as Cats and dogs who, I know, think as well as about three out of four of the people I meet everyday.

Are they happy? Who the hell knows who’s happy? As the old Italian Mother says in one of my favorite movies, “Lovers & Other Strangers” – “Don’t look for happiness, Richie. It’ll only make you miserable.”

Regardless of if they think or are happy or just content, cows aren’t treated well before (I CAN’T think of a nice way to put this!) ….they are slaughtered. PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) makes a pretty good case for the misery they endure. You can see it here: http://www.unhappycows.com/ It’s not pretty.

So ‘Happy Cows from California’ is total advertising bullshit (what a surprise) but I still eat cheeseburgers. ‘Disassociation’ is the only rationalization I have right now – but I know it sucks. But what can I eat – hummus? – whatever the fock that is. (Sorry, Paul).

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

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Remote Uncontrolled

Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

Recycled from June 19, 2008

Do you watch a lot of TV? I’ll bet you’re like me and many people. You don’t exactly sit down and watch it – it’s just on in the background as you live the rest of your life. Someone once called TV the “electronic fireplace.” My parents didn’t care what you called it – they just knew the OFF switch was ‘on’ during mealtimes and most other times too. Had any of us kids even asked to turn the TV on during dinner, I’m sure Mom and Dad would have looked at us like we had grown another head.

Yet over the years, the constantly-on TV has seeped into my life. Usually it’s on a news show or a talk/news show like ‘Today’ – but the sound is down and I only pay attention when it shows something in which I’m interested – which is almost never.

The remote, of course, is the machine that makes possible all of this volume and channel changing. A few days ago, my remote started working intermittently which is maddening. I reprogrammed it two or three times and it still misbehaved. I even put in shiny new batteries. Nada. So last night I gave it one more chance. I shined up the battery contacts, reprogrammed the four digit code, put on a happy face, and pushed the power button. Nothing. So I calmly threw it as hard as I could through the open terrace door where it met the concrete wall and smashed into countless pieces.

Tuesday and Wednesday, my Cats, were quite impressed. After looking back at me to make sure I wasn’t going to fix anything else, they trotted out to the terrace to sniff the small remnants of destruction.

And I didn’t buy a new remote today either. I’m thinking that any action I perform in life should be worth the effort it takes to get out of my chair, walk three steps, bend over, and push a button. If it’s not worth that effort, I can probably live without it.

The TV hasn’t been on all day.

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