Archive for June 19th, 2008

I’m Just Not the Tripe Type

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

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I’m meeting a business associate for lunch on Tuesday at an Italian Restaurant – for tripe. The restaurant, Rockie’s, is supposed to have the best tripe in the city. I’ve never had their tripe. Actually, I’ve never had anyone’s tripe which is cow stomach, nor scungile which is octopus, nor snails which, of course, are snails. I’ve never eaten lobster in anything other than bisque, clams outside of chowder, squashed sardines, nor oysters when they lay dead in their shells. I won’t eat liver pate or any other way.

I don’t eat chicken legs, pig knuckles, or turkey drumsticks. I’ve never eaten a chicken’s wing, a duck’s breast, rabbit, or a partridge hanging on to its bones. I’ve never had for dinner a pheasant under glass, frog legs, turtle soup, blood sausage, nor anything that even resembles sushi. I’ve never been to a pig roast and I’m always wondering what happens to pig snouts, eyeballs, lips, brains, testes, and tails. I know I don’t want to know.

I’m not a vegetarian by any means. I love steak, cheeseburgers, boneless chicken, bacon, and I make the best chili (with steak, Italian sausage, & Merlot – no beans) that you’ll ever eat. I just can’t eat anything that looks like anything. I never could – even as a kid. My imagination was too big and I couldn’t switch it to ‘disassociate’ like most people. I still can’t.

It always amazes me what different cultures will – and won’t – eat. Indians don’t eat cows but we will. We don’t eat dogs but Koreans eat a certain breed. Monkeys might be dinner in some African countries and I wouldn’t even shop with a client in ‘Snake Alley’ in Thailand. It is, however, reassuring to know that all cultures will not eat a certain animal – people. I guess it’s just too hard to disassociate us.

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Remote Out of Control

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

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Do you watch a lot of TV? I’ll bet you’re like me and many people. You don’t exactly sit down and watch it – it-s just on in the background as you live the rest of your life. Someone called TV the “electronic fireplace.” My parents didn’t care what you called it – they just knew the OFF switch was ‘on’ during mealtimes and most other times too. Had any of us kids even asked to turn the TV on during dinner, I’m sure Mom and Dad would have looked at us like we had grown another head.

Yet over the years, the constantly-on TV has seeped into my life. Usually it’s on a news show or a talk/news show like ‘Today’ – but the sound is down and I only pay attention when it shows something in which I’m interested – which is almost never.

The remote, of course, is the machine that makes possible all of this volume and channel changing. A few days ago, my remote started working intermittently which is maddening. I reprogrammed it two or three times and it still misbehaved. I even put in shiny new batteries. Nada. So last night I gave it one more chance. I shined up the battery contacts, reprogrammed the four digit code, put on a happy face, and pushed the power button. Nothing. So I calmly threw it as hard as I could through the open terrace door where it met the concrete wall and smashed into countless pieces.

Tuesday and Wednesday were quite impressed. After looking back at me to make sure I wasn’t going to fix anything else, they trotted out to the terrace to sniff the small remnants of destruction.

And I didn’t buy a new remote today either. I’m thinking that any action I perform in life should be worth the effort it takes to get out of my chair, walk three steps, bend over, and push a button. If it’s not worth that effort, I can probably live without it.

The TV hasn’t been on all day.

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