Archive for April 30th, 2008

You Are So Fuelish!

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

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If I hear one more recycled “environmentalist” whining about the high cost of gas while driving a guzzler, you may see my reaction on the national news. In 1978, I worked for an ad agency which had the RG&E account. I was the only writer who was willing to create an ad that advocated nuclear power in a mix with more fossil fuel, budding alternative energies like solar power, and conservation.

My reasoning was simple: the more America depended on oil from foreign countries, the weaker we would become and more likely to start wars with nations which sat on the oil to which we’d become addicted. Of course my hippie friends called me a ‘capitalist pig’ and sneered when they passed me a joint. And you may think I’m too big a person to say, I told you so – but

I TOLD YOU SO!

So suck it up, snivelers – whine all the way to the athletic clubs, first run movies, kids’ soccer practice, and the ritzy restaurants you seem to favor.

Now, what’s that I hear? “Oooh, Franco. We’re sorry! Please tell us how we can get gas down to $3/gallon again. We’ll listen this time!”

All right. I’m big on forgiveness this month – the Pope was around. Do you really want to get gas back to $3/gallon? Drive 25% less – your weekly gas bill will be the same as if the pump price were 3-bucks. Simple. Now stop whining!

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