Archive for April 28th, 2008

Cashing in on American Puritans, Prigs, and Prudes

Monday, April 28th, 2008


It probably had nothing to do with my last post on sexual hypocrisy but bubble gum star Hannah Montana posed for some steamy shots in Vanity Fair and America is bellowing with outage! It’s as if a condom fell out of the Pope’s robe or Hillary Clinton did a center spread for Hustler magazine. Showing less than LaToya Jackson when she popped a pasty at last year’s Superbowl, 15-year old Smiley Miley Cyrus, the actress who plays Hannah, bared her mid-drift and just may be topless under a satin bedsheet although it’s impossible to tell. Oh God, no!

The same moral indignation which is missing from our national reaction to the bloody war in Iraq is now flooding the streets over a boobless teenie who’s trying to look hot. And, of course, all the usual players are reading on cue their cliched scripts of hypocrisy.

An embarrassed Hannah apologized to her fans “who I care so deeply about”.

The clean and chaste Disney Channel – which carries Hannah’s show – said the magazine “deliberately manipulated” the kid into the sexy shoot.

And Vanity Fair defended itself by noting Cyrus’s parents were on the set the whole time and everyone approved the shots.

Of course no one is whining about all the free publicity the controversy is generating.

Good show, Hannah! But for now, just keep those beasts leashed. Save them for someone you love in the privacy of your own mansion – preferably after you’re legally married. Right.