Archive for April 17th, 2008

“Moneychangers: Report to the Temple”

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

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WARNING: This post contains words and ideas some Catholics may consider objectionable. Tough. I’m a recovering Catholic and this is America. Readers’ Discretion is Advised.

Pope Benedict has come to America and, boy – do we need him now. The war continues to roll down its murderous path, our economy is spewing new levels of toilet matter, and Congress just doesn’t have anything to do since it finished grilling baseball players on steroid use. Just when you thought you might never laugh again, heeereres………. Benny!

Every Papal roadie hawks souvenirs, but this tour has inspired new depths of merchandising trash. The little Polish Pope (I forget his name) started the wave when his handlers got him to officially bless “Pope Soap on a Rope” -$9.99 – (“Imagine the possibilities!”) for his US tour in 1995. But that wet trinket was just the beginning. For this Papal tour, there’s enough glitzy crap to start a new Shoppers’ Club Channel.

The star of Benny’s first visit will be The Pope’s Cologne – a 2- ounce bottle in a gift box which sells for only $29.95. Here’s the ad copy:

“A truly extraordinary cologne with surprising freshness and notes of violet and citrus, The Pope’s Cologne is a classic Old World cologne made from the private formula of Pope Pius IX (1792- 1878). It uses the same essential oils that perfumers used 150 years ago to create its subtle, yet striking, fragrance.” Right.

Something stinks about all this.

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