Archive for January 20th, 2008

Amy – My Twin & Best Friend.

Sunday, January 20th, 2008


Amy and I were born on June 9th. That’s our Birthday. What year? EVERY YEAR, Skippy…..Duh! Amy kept getting better and better looking but I didn’t. Of course she HAD to get better looking (see the first picture). Shortly after she was born, Amy looked like a wax sculpture which had been left in the sun. But she got much better very quickly!

Sometime, after she was five (middle picture), but before she was thirty (last picture) she was even a centerfold with real staples and everything. Unfortunately, she had gone mad by that time and took to sitting on counters and studying things in the sink. One day she decided she’d become Amish because she liked horses and carts. So she moved to Pennsylvania and I haven’t seen her since. I also have two sisters who moved to France to become Muslims. I haven’t seen them since either. Religion’s a bitch when it breaks up families even if you get a free horse and cart.



Sunday, January 20th, 2008




An older man goes to bed with a much younger woman and is pretty proud of himself.

“Am I the first man you were ever with?” he asks.

The girl squints and says, “Could be, Mister. I thought you looked familiar.”




Ideas That Made Too Much Sense. Part 3.

Sunday, January 20th, 2008



The idea, of course, is noble. Construct one ‘universal language’ so that all the peoples of the world could communicate freely to foster peace and international understanding. Esperanto, which means ‘one who hopes’, was created to achieve this goal. It’s symbol (above) was designed to show the five continents being united by a common language (nah, I can’t see it either; I count 3 contact points – what am I missing here?).

Anyway Esperanto, created in the late 1800’s, once actually looked like it would flourish. The number of speakers grew rapidly primarily in the Russian empire and Eastern Europe, then in Western Europe and the Americas.

But then Reality reared it’s ugly head. There were problems – lots of problems. Among them:

• The language is based on European roots and sounds. Too bad for you, Asia; and Africa? Forget about it.

• Language needs a specific culture to flourish. It’s words are symbols which represent tangible objects and ideas. People in Hawaii don’t need many words to describe snowstorms and Eskimos really don’t care about a name for pineapples.

• Dictatorships hated the idea. Stalin called Esperanto ‘the language of spies.’ Nazis even executed some of its practitioners. And here in the United States, Joe McCarthy (who spawned Ann Coulter) said it was “a Communist language.”

Today, over a century after its birth, Esperanto is spoken by (generously estimating) about 1-million Esperantists. Just a verbal speck in a world of 5- or 6-billion people.