Archive for January 19th, 2008

Saturday, January 19th, 2008

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Why don’t Italians like Jehovah’s Witnesses?

Italians don’t like ANY witnesses.

 

 

 

Really Lousy Writing.

Saturday, January 19th, 2008

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WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE KIDS SMOKING?

Every year, English teachers from across the country submit examples of their students’ WORST writing. They’re truly amazing. Between laughs, please remember: in just a few years, these dunces will be voting. And each of their votes will count as much as yours.

1. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

2. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

3. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

4. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

5. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

6. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

7. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

8. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

9. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

10. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.