4/17/2021

April 17th, 2021
“STAND STILL, YOU KIDS!”

“But You Can Kill With A Kitchen Knife!”

April 16th, 2021

And our murder du jour features: 8-people massacred in a semi-deserted FedEx parking lot in less than 2-minutes.

Oh -let me guess- it was a military-style assault weapon.

Tell me about the kitchen knife again.

OK

April 16th, 2021

In 4-Years, He Never Hit 50%

April 16th, 2021

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I Fully Support …

April 15th, 2021

… your right NOT to get vaccinated against Covid-19. And your children, and your family, and your friends. In fact, I ENCOURAGE you to refuse it!

You may call it freedom of choice.

I call it natural selection.

No Vital Organs Hit

April 15th, 2021

A few years ago, Dante Autillo shot a nail into his head and barely noticed. The 32-year old woodworker from Oakland Park Illinois, was in his shop when he accidentally scratched his head with his nail gun and fired the 5 and 1/2” projectile into his skull.

Thinking he cut his scalp,  Dante went into the house where his fiancé Gail Glaenzer cleaned the wound with hydrogen peroxide.  He then went about his business even shoveling snow!  The next day, however, the woodworker felt nauseated so Gail insisted he have the wound checked at an emergency room.

After a quick x-ray, doctors were horrified to see the clear picture of a nail over 5-inches long embedded in the man’s brain.  They immediately made arrangements with a larger hospital to perform emergency surgery. Still, Dante never lost consciousness nor felt any unusual pain.  In fact, on the ambulance ride to the second hospital, he posted the picture above to his Facebook account so his friends could see his “brainchild.”

After a two-hour operation, Dante remained in satisfactory condition.  He made a necklace out of his removed nail.

There are some people who say Dante may not be the smartest guy in the world – but when it comes to brains, I say he nailed it.

Nail gun safety:  https://www.google.com/

Welcome to America

April 12th, 2021

Bullets By The Pound

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DELIGHTED!

April 11th, 2021

Disgraced, EX-President Asswipe continually whines the Presidential election was STOLEN from him!

The Presidential election WAS stolen – by the Russians in 2016.

But a recent poll showed 66% of Republicans today BELIEVE this loser’s happy-horseshit about the 2020 election.

They have NO IDEA how much pleasure this fact brings me every single day!

Goodbye, JohnnyV

April 11th, 2021

My old college roommate – and one of my best friends – died last week.

JohnnyV was the funniest, craziest, and loudest person I ever met! Also one of the smartest.

Without drugs or alcohol, John was always “out there” when “out there” really meant OUT THERE!

He was also the best man I knew.

Goodbye, Old Friend

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Drowning In The Gene Pool

April 10th, 2021
"Get back you little bastards!"

                               “Get back you little bastards!”

I will spare you the unhappy details but a while back I was kind of forced into a conversation with a few of the guys from my building. This all-male talk fest was rolling and the subject of children came up.

Right away I could tell this just wasn’t going to be my lucky day. I mean I really don’t mind kids – if they’re somebody else’s’ – and live somewhere else – and I’m not there.

But I’m proud of the fact that I was one of the first men in my county to have a vasectomy before having children – almost 40-years ago. Of course this conversation was not about NOT having children – it was all about the DUTY of having them. Uh-oh.

The least evolved of the group spoke loudest; it seems he has a “need to breed”.

“I gotta have a son to carry on my Family Line.”

Now the only “line” with which I would associate this guy and his family is the line at the Department of Social Services where he would need help filling out the application. If all of this guy’s offspring mutated into plants and vegetables, our gene pool would be a nicer place in which to swim.

Of course I didn’t say that – but I sure thought it.

Most Vasectomy Scissors Are Smaller.

Does it hurt to have a vasectomy?   https://www.google.com