Posts Tagged ‘skin creme’

A Tax On Stupid People

Saturday, August 22nd, 2009

500_ticket

Like me. And you – if you play New York State Lottery Games – or any Lotteries bigger than church bingo. The games have been called “voluntary taxes paid by people who are too dumb to understand odds”. Well I understand odds. My rationale is much more sophisticated than that. I pay a dollar or two to dream of winning and you can’t win if you don’t play. Pretty smart, huh? Naw, not so smart. Actually it’s pretty dumb when you know the odds – which you can find on the NYLottery website.

See the pretty ticket above? It costs a dollar. And $500.00 a week for Life is a pretty good prize, right? So here come the official NYS odds for this dream. We’ll start on the smaller prizes first – get ready to WIN!

The odds against winning $1 are 8.77 to 1. For you non-bettors, that means on average, you’d have to buy about NINE tickets to scratch off a dollar winner. But, as the brighter ones in the group have already figured out, you don’t really “win” a dollar because that’s how much you paid for the ticket. So, OK – to win a dollar, you’ve really got to win $2 on the ticket. Odds against a two dollar ticket? About 47 to 1. WHAT? That’s right, Skippy; to actually win a dollar, on average, you’d have to scratch off 47-tickets.

It gets better, right? Right, this is New York State. To win $10, you’ll have to scratch 200 tickets. $100? Get ready to buy 50- thousand, 400-tickets. That’s a lot of buying and scratching for a hundred bucks. And the Grand Prize? $500 a week for Life? Get your coin out and start scratching. Better make it a few coins, you’ll need to scratch 7,938,000 tickets.

Don’t tell anyone though. It kind of ruins the game if you know it would take almost three entire lifetimes of around-the-clock scratching to win $500 a week for the rest of your life. Plus, about $8-million dollars in tickets.

You never gamble on a dull presentations at: www.PresentationsUnplugged.com

Paolo’s SUNDAY SCHOOL of SPEAKING

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

My friends were being transparently diplomat.

“Of course the nation NEEDS your social commentary, political editorials, and the laughs -BUT you’ve been a top Business Presentation consultant for over 25-years. Don’t you think your Blog readers (now usually between 100 and 200 readers EVERY DAY -thankyouverymuch) DESERVE a bit of that expertise for putting up with you?”

So OK. Let’s run this for a month and see how it goes. EVERY SUNDAY for at least 4-weeks, I will devote a blog post to making you a Great Presenter. You will learn things about Presentations that you’ll NEVER learn in Speech 101, Dale Carnegie, or Toastmasters. I focus on Presentations by Actual Human Beings – hence the name of my website: PresentationsUnplugged.com. There’s a link to the right under Blogroll. Give a visit if you haven’t been there.

Top corporate executives pay about $300/hour for my services. Of course they get the advantage of a personal videotape analysis of their presentation styles, ME – charmingly in person, and we do it all in the comfort and privacy of their own executive suites.What will YOU learn every week? Certainly a lot less than that – BUT some tips to make you a Great Presenter at a price anyone can afford (free). And we’ll have some fun – promise!

Some of the ideas are out of my book, How to Make a Great Presentation in 2-Hours (Lifetime Books, 1993). After two printings, the book is now out of print in this country but it’s being pirated in at least FOUR other countries (BTW – if you can get me a copy of the Chinese edition, I’ll be your friend forever).

Anyway……let’s give it a shot. I know you will learn a lot – have some fun – and become a better presenter. Quite frankly, there’s not a skill you can develop that will advance your career more. LET’S KICK SOME PRESENTATION ASS!

SUNDAY SCHOOL of SPEAKING WEEK I – DON’T BORE THEM TO DEATH!

####

Tomorrow – MAFIA CHILI

If this doesn’t melt your heart….

Monday, July 28th, 2008

fall on the floor – because you’re dead.

Paste into your browser: http://youtube.com/watch?v=adYbFQFXG0U

####

Tomorrow: “Paolo’s SUNDAY SCHOOL of SPEAKING

A Tax On Stupid People

Sunday, July 27th, 2008

Like me. And you – if you play New York State Lottery Games – or any Lotteries bigger than church bingo. The games have been called “voluntary taxes paid by people who are too dumb to understand odds”. Well I understand odds. My rationale is much more sophisticated than that. I pay a dollar or two to dream of winning and you can’t win if you don’t play. Pretty smart, huh? Naw, not so smart. Actually it’s pretty dumb when you know the odds – which you can find on the NYLottery website.

See the pretty ticket above? It costs a dollar. And $500.00 a week for Life is a pretty good prize, right? So here come the official NYS odds for this dream. We’ll start on the smaller prizes first – get ready to WIN!

The odds against winning $1 are 8.77 to 1. For you non-bettors, that means on average, you’d have to buy about NINE tickets to scratch off a dollar winner. But, as the brighter ones in the group have already figured out, you don’t really “win” a dollar because that’s how much you paid for the ticket. So, OK – to win a dollar, you’ve really got to win $2 on the ticket. Odds against a two dollar ticket? About 47 to 1. WHAT? That’s right, Skippy; to actually win a dollar, on average, you’d have to scratch off 47-tickets.

It gets better, right? Right, this is New York State. To win $10, you’ll have to scratch 200 tickets. $100? Get ready to buy 50- thousand, 400-tickets. That’s a lot of buying and scratching for a hundred bucks. And the Grand Prize? $500 a week for Life? Get your coin out and start scratching. Better make it a few coins, you’ll need to scratch 7,938,000 tickets.

Don’t tell anyone though. It kind of ruins the game if you know it would take almost three entire lifetimes to scratch off enough tickets to win $500 a week for the rest of your life. Plus, about $8-million dollars.

####

Why Vote? And Why Vote for OBAMA? (Part II)

Saturday, July 26th, 2008

For 40-years I refused to vote – except for Ross Perot – in 1992. I was his Upstate NY Campaign Spokesperson – and he was a trip. I really believed he represented the drastic change America needed. What about the rest of the candidates from the major parties for all that time? I refused to make a choice between TweedleDumb and TweedleDumber.

“If you don’t vote, you can’t complain….” prattled the common masses. Oh, bite my slice – is that in the Constitution?

There’s something many people can’t seem to grasp: in the vast scheme of things, the President has a lot less power than you might think. Our government was designed that way – and that’s good – especially when we get klunkers like Bush and Cheney.

To the rest of the world, our President is more of a symbol than a power. He represents our national philosophy – those things for which we stand. And to me, that’s got to change – and at the speed of lightning. Bush, and McSame, symbolize an America that no longer exists. An America of abundant wealth and unsurpassed power. An America that’s the ‘Freedom Cop’ of the world – the land of unlimited growth and opportunity!

That America is gone. We may be sorry it’s gone – and I’ll certainly miss parts of it – but let’s not waste time on national nostalgia. It’s time we stepped into the global future – stop meddling in other countries’ affairs – and focus on becoming economically strong again. The rest of the world is important to us because we need every country to become valuable trading partners. We basically need 2-things: a vibrant economy and a powerful DEFENSE not an offense. We’ve made terrorism WORSE by our international meddling. America must still be on guard but for chrissakes! – let’s stop picking fights with those who don’t share our philosophy!

So who’s American face do we want for a global future? There’s no real choice. On Thursday, Obama went to Berlin and 200, 000 people turned out. They were young – some waved American flags – and they were excited. They weren’t thinking of the wonderful America of history – they were searching for the face of America’s future.

So should we.

####

Tomorrow:  “A Tax on Stupid People”

For President – (reluctantly) – OBAMA – (Part 1)

Friday, July 25th, 2008

My love for American politics got blown away with the back of John Kennedy’s head in 1963. I was 13. As a well-read kid, I knew the ‘Oswald – Lone Nut’ theory was a crock of shit – but I couldn’t understand why our own govern- ment would lie to us. Today 4 out of 5 Americans do not believe the “Official” report – but at that time (when the numbers were reversed) you too would have gotten mighty confused had you been 13 – and all the adults thought of you as just a precocious dope.

I still clung on to parts of the American Political Fantasy for the next 5-years. I still wanted to believe. Then Martin Luther King was murdered by a “drifter” who didn’t have enough money for a decent room – but managed to travel around the world with lots of cash. Another ‘lone nut’ – hmmm.

But at least Bobby could light the beacon of America again – maybe – he was the only one left! Right. He was left on the floor of a hotel’s pantry filled with more bullets than he and the surrounding walls could possibly catch from the single gun of the convicted assassin.

My belief in the American political system was in tatters – but I still wanted to believe. Then came Vietnam. THAT WAS IT! Enough was enough. I refused to be taken for a fool any longer. Fool me once – shame on you. Fool me a dozen times ……………

I was given a college deferment so some other 19-year old could get his (usually black and poor) ass shot off. At least I had enough decency to tell my local draft board, “give me any goddam status you want: I’M NOT GOING! Yank my deferment – DRAFT ME! – Let’s get it on, MF-ers!” I never heard from them again. I entered college as a Political Science major – who refused to vote.

“But you know so much about politics!” people chirped, “Why don’t you vote?

“You just answered your own question,” I’d say.

####

Tomorrow: Part II – Why vote? Why Obama?