Archive for October, 2013

Before Modern Special Effects …

Thursday, October 31st, 2013

How did they do this? 
(Hint: Click on picture and look at the bottom of the screen.)

The President Didn’t Know About …

Thursday, October 31st, 2013

• the problems with the Obamacare website.

• spying on our allies.

• the anticipated September 11th attack on the Benghazi embassy.

• the IRS targeting his opponents.

• the complete picture of the NSA compiling telephone calls.

• and the Postal Service gathering mail addresses from US citizens.

Instructions for Plausible Deniability here.

On Halloween, Arthritic Mr. Peanut …

Wednesday, October 30th, 2013


Is Going As A Drunken Raisin.

“Gin soaked raisins, an ancient folk remedy for relieving arthritic pain, have been improved by the development of the DrunkenRaisin for both flavor and possible anti-inflammatory effect.  Arthritis pain caused by inflammation has long been reported to experience relief by eating 8-9 gin soaked raisins each day.  By adding honey and high quality imported cinnamon, DrunkenRaisins has raised the bar for effective relief.

Alleviating pesky and painful arthritis discomfort has never tasted better! DrunkenRaisins is happy to provide our customers with gin soaked raisins to help reduce the discomfort associated with arthritis.”

drunkenraisins.com

Freak The Kids – Carve A Pepper!

Wednesday, October 30th, 2013


Put a little scare back into Halloween! Carved orange pumpkins are so boring, the kids might fall asleep on your porch.  Use your imagination!  Hell, the night is supposed to be at least a little scary, so do some edgy stuff before the little beggars get their treats.

Hook up speakers and blast the little superheros onto your lawn with extremely loud screams and groans.  Make sure the sounds aren’t playing constantly – wait until a new group arrives before hitting ‘play’.  A hooked up microphone can really add to the fun.

Hand out wrapped candy with fake, blood-dripping hands.  Come to the door with guts hanging from your mouth. And smile – don’t make a thing of it.  Talk to people who aren’t there and act very afraid.  Crawl to the door and give out treats lying down.  Carry a shovel and put your spouse on your back – seriously ask the kids to help you bury the body.

Ask them to bow their heads a moment before getting the treats because it was exactly one-year ago that your nephew, Joe Bagadonuts, had his throat slit on this very porch. Make sure there are adequate blood stains all over the stoop.  Come to the door crying and sobbing uncontrollably.

Do you want to REALLY repulse them?  For a treat, give them an apple or carrot.

Clown Sex Is Disturbing

Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

“When you have sex with a clown, you have sex with every clown that clown had sex with.”

Our Allies Want To Talk About US Spying

Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

Girl Lawyers Don’t Sit Like Sharon Stone

Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

A large, international law firm, Clifford Chase, suggested its US female attorneys stop acting like they’re in “the high school cafeteria.” Ouch.  The UK-based company issued a blatantly sexist and patronizing memo suggesting what women should do to be taken seriously as lawyers.

“Presentation Tips For Women” has caused outrage on both sides of the Atlantic – especially among women.  Many clients must wonder what kinds of women the firm hired in the first place if it felt compelled to issue this memo.  Clifford Chase informs women that their friends will still like them if they “adopt a more formal tone.  And “It is better to be more formal, practised and professional, even in a casual crowd.” Other reminders:

“Sound Your Age.”

“Resonate: fill up your mouth with your voice.”

“Think Lauren Bacall, not Marilyn Monroe.”

Clifford Chase goes on to warn women against squirming, giggling, tilting their heads, eating too little or too much, drinking caffeine, drinking alcohol, hiding behind their hair, and (incredibly) letting audiences see up their skirts. And for God’s sake, keep your boobs covered! “No one heard Hillary the day she showed cleavage.”

As someone who has coached thousands of women professionals in presentations for over 30-years, I found the memo incredibly stupid.  Perhaps in the future the firm should choose applicants from law schools as opposed to those whom they meet in bars and strip clubs.

You can read the memo here.

Hmmm …

Monday, October 28th, 2013

Damn Saudi Women Drivers!

Monday, October 28th, 2013

More:

 

Sure I’ll Listen – I’m Your Friend

Monday, October 28th, 2013

Obama has blown it again. Besides pushing the Bush unwinnable war in Iraq and escalating  the unwinnable Afghanistan war, he’s also responsible for many other debacles. Obama promised “transparency” in our government.  He lied.

Remember Libya and then the Bengazi coverup? Sending arms to the rebels of Syria?  All “secret” – until they were discovered and he couldn’t lie anymore. How about Hilly and he pushing for Morsi of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt?  Millions of Egyptians threw him out and they now hate the US even more.

Syria? He “didn’t need Congress – nor the UN” to launch a military spanking against that country until he was booed off the world’s stage.

Remember when he went against his domestic political enemies with IRS audits?  Or how he had  the Justice Department seize the phone records of Associated Press news reporters he didn’t like?  Guantanamo? Drones? The sweeping secret court order that authorized the FBI to seize cell call records of nearly all Americans?

And now this: spying on our own allies and the UN. The main members of the European Union are disgusted with Obama and with good reason.  The US defense?  Blame Snowden the messenger for making these messes transparent.

Some of you still defend this nitwit.  If you can honestly show I’m wrong about any of the charges above, I’ll listen to YOU.

Do you think I’m exaggerating our allies’ latest outrage over US surveillance?  Check out the world’s media: outraged+over+bugging