Archive for November, 2012

Rochester, NY – PM

Friday, November 30th, 2012
Click on photo to enlarge

View from the 18th floor. I actually got off my ass, left my apartment, went to the walkway that connects our two buildings, and snapped this shot.  There are people on my floor (behind me) who have this view but I’m very happy with my terrace. If you can’t be happy with what you have, at least be thankful you didn’t get what you deserve.

I Told You They Were All Lunatics

Friday, November 30th, 2012

At the height of the “Cold War” in the 1950’s, the U.S. military explored the idea of detonating an atomic bomb on the moon in an effort to intimidate Russia. Physicist Leonard Reiffel, who later became a deputy director of NASA, and even famed astronomer Carl Sagan were involved in top secret’ “Project A119.”

This was about the time in American history when the CIA was studying the effects of LSD on unsuspecting military personnel and was also trying to develop a “Mancherian Candidate” to assassinate foreign leaders.

Project A119 never got much further than the “Hey!-I’ve-Got-A-Great-Idea!” stage. It was questionable if we had a rocket powerful enough to carry the heavy payload. And if we even hit the moon, would anyone notice the microscopic, firefly-like light? Of course it would also be inconvenient if the rocket sputtered and wiped out Los Angeles and San Diego.

When it comes to nuclear pyrotechnics for visual aid purposes, it’s probably best just to leave them in the silos.

I Just Lost My Text Virginity!

Friday, November 30th, 2012


I texted someone! In all the years I’ve had a cell phone, I’ve never used the text feature.  Since I so rarely turn on the cell,  (I now have 1,260.60-minutes left) there’s never been a big need.  I’ve always been able to read the message and then just call the person back on the real phone.

But last night an old girlfriend left a message on my answer machine.  I haven’t seen her in 5 or 6-years so I was anxious to call this morning.  The message on her answer machine said “You can leave a message but the best way to reach me is to text.” And then a voice came on saying her “mailbox was full.” (I found that hilarious!)

So I was determined to learn how to text – and it wasn’t easy.  I still can’t understand why someone would text instead of call but at least I now know how to do it.

The only problem is I don’t have anyone else to text.

“Iwon’ttakeacidagain.Iwon’ttakeacidagain.Iwont…

Friday, November 30th, 2012

dementia.com

Ginger & Me

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

This is a picture of Ginger Lynn and me in Las Vegas in the late 1980’s. Ginger was  the #1 Female Film Actress in the Adult Entertainment Industry during that time (Yes -”skin flicks” – no apologies).   She and I were “tight”.

I forget why the US Post Office did not issue this stamp.  Ginger said it was because the postage rates changed. I forget – but you can find her under “Acknowledgments” in my book, How to Make a Great Presentation in 2-Hours.

When this photo was taken, Ginger was engaged to Charlie Sheen, the Hollywood actor and a basic nut case. I told her it had to be him or me.  Ginger snapped. She chose him – he chose someone else about a month later.

If you ask Ginger about me today, she’ll say, “I don’t remember him.”  Women are like that.

Drew Cherrymore

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

A Grateful City

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Rochester, New York has a long and rich history. This is the home of  Eastman Kodak, Xerox Corporation, and Bausch & Lomb.  Years ago we were even a leader in famous crimes.  A Brinks heist here netted over  $7-million dollars!

But things today are not so grate.  Once a share of Kodak stock cost almost $80.  Today you can buy one for less than a quarter. And our prestigious crime profile is also in the sewer.  Around this time last year, nearly 200 city storm and sewer hole grates were stolen – probably to be sold as scrap metal.

“Manhole Covers” (an intriguing name) are worth only about 12 cents per pound. However, if you hide them in scrap copper – worth 20-times that much – you’re talking some “big” bucks – at least by today’s crook prices.

Manhole covers are round for a number of reasons: they can’t fall through their own openings and they’re a hell of a lot easier to roll than to carry – an important consideration for thieves!

Of course if you’re a pedestrian, all of this really doesn’t matter much.  If someone steals a cover and you don’t notice, you’re going to get shafted.

Who’s Spoofing Whom?

Tuesday, November 27th, 2012


Associated Press gleefully wrote that a spoof by The Onion (a satirical on-line paper) naming North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un as the “Sexiest Man Alive” – was taken seriously by China.

Quoting the Onion’s spoof report, a Chinese newspaper wrote: “”With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true.”

“Kim made our editors swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile,” the People’s Daily cited the Onion as saying.

AP thought it hilarious that China would seriously believe the Onion’s spoof.  I don’t believe the Chinese really did – especially since they’ve been the “victim” of Onion spoofs for years.  Does anyone believe China is that ignorant of the American media?

I’ll bet the Chinese paper’s editorial board sat around and said something like, “This is probably the Americans just mocking Kim Jong Un – but so what?  Let’s run the article ‘as is’ and see if they think we’re dumb enough NOT to know it’s a spoof.  Our readers won’t know the difference.  And beside, he IS a little cute…….”

So AP,  just because the Chinese printed the story straight, doesn’t mean they believed it.  You know, kind of like the hundreds of press releases you print every week.

Hilly: He Used To Be Such A Nice Guy!

Monday, November 26th, 2012

"Who said these are thugs? They're just my new backup singers!"

Within hours of being hailed as a leading peacemaker in the shaky truce between Israel and Hamas, President Mohamed Morsi went back to Egypt and grabbed as much new power as he could stuff into his little turban.  He decided his rulings would sidestep the courts and free his office of all judicial oversight.  With his strong Muslim Brotherhood background, it was clear Morsi has plans to push Egypt towards more fundamentalist Islamic policy including Sharia law.

The vast majority of moderate Muslims aren’t buying it.  They’ve been rioting, striking, and burning down ‘Brotherhood’ offices since Morsi declared his intent.

What should the US do?  NOTHING – except trade with all sides.  We helped prop up dictator President Hosni Mubarak,  for 30-years – until Egyptians had enough of him.  Then we asked him to “step down” and stopped supporting him.  Our fingers are always in the wind trying to pick winners.

Who the hell is America to influence another country’s internal political affairs?  Oh yeh, that’s right – we have decades of nation-building experience from Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya.  They’ve all been so successful, the rest of the world is just begging for our wise leadership.

Phrase Malise

Sunday, November 25th, 2012

“The Proof Is In the Pudding”

No, it’s not. If the proof was literally in the pudding, all you would have is a soggy, piece of proof. The correct phrase is:

“The Proof of the Pudding is in the EATING.”

Well of course, Skippy! Doesn’t that make sense? Language MUST make sense if it’s to be an agreed-upon, verbal or written exchange of thoughts between people.