Archive for August 16th, 2009

Human Mutations

Sunday, August 16th, 2009

I had a horrific picture of dog-fighting here.  I can’t stand looking at it any longer.  I hope it helped make my point.

Frank Garcia, 35, a registered nurse in Western New York, recently went on a day-long murder spree that included killing four adults and in one couple’s case, insisting their teenage children listen to those torture murders, made them beg for their own lives, and then demanded they thank him when he let the kids live.

Garcia was convicted of two of the murders and undoubtedly will be guilty of the other two. He will be locked away forever because he’s a human mutant – someone who is so beyond our realm of reality, we can never let him near people again.

Michael Vick is a star, professional football player who signed a deal to play for  $135-million dollars.  But he also had other activities.  For over six years he ran a    dog-fighting club (mockingly called ‘Bad News Kennels’) and delighted in hanging, electrocuting, and bludgeoning to death dogs who could not or would not fight hard enough. He also satisfied his blood lust by tossing to his ferocious pit bulls for play, household pets and old dogs who were unwanted.

After serving only a year and a half in prison, Vick found the lord, now speaks to kid groups about animal cruelty, and just signed a million-dollar plus contract with the Philadelphia Eagles.  Although he is getting a second chance, I suggest to you that Michael Vick is also a human mutant who should never be around people again.

There will be some people who say I’m treating the murder of animals on a par with the murder of human beings.  That’s not true.  I’m not looking at either of these cases through the eyes of the victims – I’m trying to imagine the world through the eyes of these murderers.

And I simply can’t.  Neither, I’ll bet can you.  What kind of monster would take pleasure in the bloody torture, suffering, and killing of helpless creatures?  A mutant.  A diseased bad seed. A rabid animal.

Do you think Vick deserves the second chance he’s getting?  Well maybe we should give one to Frank Garcia too.  Let’s start by putting them around your family or pets.

Our sponsor refuses to put his link on the same page as these animals.

Really Lousy Writing

Sunday, August 16th, 2009

dunce-imagethumbnail

Every year, English teachers from across the country submit examples of their students’ WORST writing.

1. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

2. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

3. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

4. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

5. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

6. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

7. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

8. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

9. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

10. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

Someone who hates lousy writing as much as his own sins can be found at:

www.PresentationsUnplugged.com