Good Morning Today

March 30th, 2017

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Better Learn English

March 30th, 2017

Marilyn Manson

March 29th, 2017

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Whatever happened to Marilyn Manson?  https://www.google.com/

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Oh Good. Another Winner.

March 29th, 2017

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He Doesn’t Look A Day Over 2017

March 29th, 2017

aa2f774834b6cc72d26114cc88458909A few years ago, Pope Benedict wrote a new book, “Jesus of Nazareth: The Infancy Narratives.”  In it he gives us new evidence about Jesus’ age which was computed by ‘Dennis the Small,’ a sixth century monk.  Dennis forgot to carry the one or something and it turns out Christ was actually 6-years older than the Christian Calendar indicates.

So if you’re ever in a game of ‘Christrivia,’ say Jesus was crucified at 39 rather than 33.  In fact, tell that fact to every stranger you see – it’s a real conversation-starter.

How old is Jesus?  https://www.google.com/

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So This Snail Goes Into A Bar …

March 29th, 2017

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SNAIL YOGA: SNAIL+YOGA

There’s nothing like a good snail joke or amusing gastropod anecdote to liven up even the dullest party. Here are two of my favorites:

• A snail and a turtle are crossing the road from opposite directions.  They crash.  The police come and interview the snail.  “What happened?” asks the officer.

“I don’t know,” says the snail. “It all happened so fast!”

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• A guy is home reading the paper and hears a knock on his door.  He opens the door only to find a little snail on his porch.  He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

A year later the guy is home reading his paper and there’s a loud knock.  He opens the door and there’s the snail again.  In an exasperated voice the snail says,

“WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!?”

Word Of The Day: Gastropod (GAS-tro-pod) noun. A class within the phylum Mollusca which includes snails, slugs, and (my personal favorites) the semi-slugs.

There’s never enough shell space for semi-slugs:  https://www.google.com/

The Horrors Of Sex

March 28th, 2017

 

Thank You

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http://watch.everythingisterrible.com/

Get Into Your Head

March 28th, 2017

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No Lack Of Characters

March 28th, 2017

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Years ago. my ex-wife and I were talking about ‘characters.’ Do you know any?

Characters are people who live in their own colorful definition of reality and have a hard time fitting into the black and white world most of us share.

I know a number of characters – a guy who was one of New York’s best safe crackers in the ‘60’s – a woman who believed she was John Kennedy’s illegitimate daughter – a man who became a pet groomer to find the reincarnation of his dead dog – well, the list could go on – I LOVE characters! But the discussion took an unpleasant turn when she said I was a character. Me?

“You’re kidding!” I said, “I’m not a character.”

“Characters never think they’re characters.” she said.

“Wait a little minute here, “ I said trying to get my thoughts together.

I thought of Johnny, a 65-year old guy who moved to Washington Square Park in Manhattan in December so he could be homeless and live in a cardboard box. When I asked him why, he said, “Franco – that’s New York! If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere!”

Then there was Christine, an ex-dancer with whom I was talking about “looks”. I said, “I know I’m no Brad Pitt.” She immediately sat up, seriously looked at me and said, “Why did you bring up Brad Pitt?”

Of course I said, “You know Brad Pitt?”

She laid down again and said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Now THESE people are characters! I’m not a character.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, “There are a lot of good people who are characters.

“Yeh, well – what about YOU? How many people walk around deciding who’s a character and who isn’t, hmmm?”

“I see we can’t talk about this any more,” she said. And then she stood up and walked out of the room. What a character!

Are you eccentric?  https://www.google.com/

Spicer Spins To Spinach

March 28th, 2017

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