Flake Don’t ‘Bate!

May 26th, 2017

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In the late 1800s, two brothers, Dr. John and “WK” Kellogg ran a health sanitarium in Battle Creek, Michigan. Both brothers were fanatically religious – embracing the most extreme tenents of Seventh-Day Adventists who believed a strict, literal version of the Bible.

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Adventists believed that pure bodies were “temples” and forbade the use of caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, and meat products. These beliefs also resulted in treating patients with medical “alternatives” including cold-water baths, electric-current therapy, and continuous enemas.

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Dr. John was the flakier of the 2-brothers. He was so fanatically anti-sexual, he never consummated his own marriage.  Although Dr. John thought all sex was bad he reserved his greatest hatred for masturbation.

“Neither plague, nor war, nor small-pox,” he bellowed, “have produced results so disastrous to humanity as the pernicious habit of onanism.”  Yikes!

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Kellogg believed that eating bland food curbed sexual desire.  For that reason, he fed his patients a lot of cereal.  (I suspect food costs may have affected this decision.)  At any rate, he experimented with different cereals and eventually came up with Corn Flakes. The problem was they tasted like cardboard without the addition of sugar which he refused to add.

WK Kellogg had no anti-sugar hangups and purchased the Corn Flake rights from his brother.  The rest, as they say, is history.

READ THE FULL STORY HERE: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/10/23/1331075/-The-Strange-History-of-Corn-Flakes

May is National Masturbation Month

Anti-Masturbation Products For Kids

May 26th, 2017

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May is National Masturbation Month

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Cyndi Lauper’s Tribute To Masturbation (1984)

May 26th, 2017

(You may notice she goes blind in the end.)

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May is National Masturbation Month

Karaoke Lyrics:  https://www.youtube.com/

This Obnoxious Jerk-Off Is Our President

May 25th, 2017

Feel Proud Yet, America?

May 25th, 2017

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Limbo – Not Quite Heaven – Not Quite Hell

May 25th, 2017

There are few pictures of Limbo (the place) so here’s Limbo – (the dance.)

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Limbo was a confusing place for young Catholic kids. It was neither Heaven (Bingo!) nor Hell (“Where the everlasting fire will forever burn every part of your little, sinning bodies… especially … blahblahblah”). And it wasn’t Purgatory where you got to work off your sins for a back door entry into Heaven (helped along by some relatives who lit candles and sent care-prayers – “THANK YOU, AUNT CARMELLA!”).

No, Limbo was just a little far off place known as “God’s Warehouse.”  It was for unbaptized babies, people who had very, very low IQ’s, and other religious rejects who were not able to make healthy church choices.

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Clara Limbo

Once it was explained to me this way: “Say you went to confession on Saturday afternoon and went out with a hot lady Saturday night. You and the lady went waaay too far and then you were both killed in a car crash before Sunday Communion.  So where is God gonna send you?  Right – Limbo!”

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Rush Limbo

Limbo certainly wasn’t for Protestants  who had their chance to be Catholic –  but picked the wrong horse.  Limbo was like a low-rent housing project on a dead end eternal highway where you didn’t get a golden trumpet, you got a plastic kazoo.

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Ann Coulter in Bimbo Limbo

Then along came Vatican II in the early 1960’s and LIMBO was ABOLISHED!  Say what? Gone? No big loss except where did they send the Limboites who weren’t welcome anywhere else before? And wouldn’t you be a little resentful if a group of religious men in atrocious costumes made your home disappear?  I would be.

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Limb-Bow and Arrows

I think about the Limboites sometimes and wonder where they ended up.  Maybe they sent them all here to America disguised as Mexican rapists and maybe that’s why our unemployment rate is so high.  I know I’m not good at figuring out the mysteries of the universe – but do you have a better idea?

LIMBO:  https://www.google.com/

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Ta Zouzounia – Limbo Rock

May 25th, 2017

Best Limbo Dancer In The Bahamas

May 25th, 2017

Dope Mopes Over No Pope-Scope

May 25th, 2017

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Sean Spicer, trumpass spokesperson and dedicated ass-kisser, is a devout Roman Catholic.  Going to the Vatican to meet the Pope was going to be one of the highlights of his life.

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But President Asswipe scratched him off the guest list because trumpass thinks Spicer is partially responsible for his tanking approval numbers. Asswipe is known to be a mean, petty, little whiner.  This is just one more example.

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Look for a Spicer firing/resignation when the group returns to the US.

Spicer excluded from Pope visit: https://www.google.com/

Told Ya!

May 24th, 2017

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