Movie Theatres With Beds: https://www.google.com/
(2012) Heather and Adam Barrington of Charlotte, North Carolina are expecting a baby in July. After reading “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life” (available at Amazon for $20.24) they decided to go to Hawaii so dolphins can assist in the birth of their child.
Dolphins, you say?
The couple flew to Hawaii to begin the months-long preparation for the birth. Presumably the dolphins are already there. The Barringtons are being supported by the Sirius Institute, a research group which is dedicated to “dolphinizing” the planet. This means the integration of the Cetacea (dolphins and whales) into our culture as we raise our level of consciousness to be more like theirs.”
In Sirius Institute dolphin-attended births, “free dolphins” are used – not animals kept in captivity. That’s why pregnant women have to bond for months with pods near “coastal areas throughout the islands where dolphins come close to shore.”
Science writer Christie Wilcox, however, says “this has to be, hands down, one of the worst natural birthing ideas anyone has ever had.” She went on to say that though dolphins are frequently friendly toward humans, they’ve also attacked people with basically no warning. AND they also might try to rape you. Uh-oh.
There’s no truth to the rumor that the Barringtons will name their child ‘Flipper.’
For a better birthing experience – having your child with multiple orgasms – go here:
More birthing with dolphins: https://www.google.com/
Kim Jung-un has always been a babe-magnet. As noted by a North Korean paper, Kim is one of “the world’s sexiest and most handsome men.” He’s kind of like the ‘Clooney of Commies.’ It’s more than his soon-to-trend haircuts, it’s the way he dominates his people with crushing love. He’s especially attractive to young women.
To meet the demand, like his Father and Grandfather before him, Kim is forming a ‘Pleasure Squad’ or ‘Joy Brigade’ – a group of beautiful women available to him anytime, any place, to meet his every need. One suspects his immediate needs do not include intellectual stimulation nor military analysis.
Past ‘Pleasure Squads’ included teams “in semi-nude dancing and singing” (Gamujo,) “massage happiness-providers” (Haengbokjo) and, of course, the “satisfaction team” (Manjokjo) to provide sexual services. The women serve at his pleasure and then are sent back to their villages with stipends of cash, appliances, and the prestige of being a former whore for the ‘Supreme Leader.’
No word yet on how Mrs. Jong-un feels about all this but it’s assumed she could participate if she is inclined that way.
Pleasure Squads: https://www.google.com/
When my sister was 7 and I was 8, we used to love staying at Aunt Esther’s house in Yorkville, New York. On one visit, Aunt Esther was ‘spooked’ – so she sat us down for a serious talk. She told us (can you imagine?) that Marcy State Insane Asylum was close (I now know it was about 20 miles away) and sometimes the patients escaped and murdered unsuspecting, naive people who let them into their homes – usually slitting their throats with their own kitchen knives.
I can only imagine our faces and open mouths as we heard this unhappy news. (Thinking back, maybe the lesson here was not to let anyone in when we were at her house…. or …maybe she was just crazy.)
BUT – not to worry – Aunt Esther had a PLAN to save ourselves if a crazy person got in (which must have slipped the minds of all those naive Yorkville homeowners who had their throats slit.) The plan? DISTRACT the maniac. As soon as he picked up a knife, we were to say (in a friendly voice) “Say, would you like something to eat?” And when we went to the kitchen to make him lunch or a snack, we were to throw open the back door and run like hell!
I don’t remember questioning the wisdom of this plan, but I know neither Joanne nor I EVER let anyone into Aunt Esther’s house.
Telling scary stories to kids: https://www.google.com/