Asswipe’s “Middle-Class Tax Miracle”

October 18th, 2017

Since the early 1970s, tax rates for corporations and the wealthy have been going down.  It was hoped they would invest more of their profits into their companies via employee wage increases, retraining, and improved manufacturing facilities.  Actually greater profits have gone to executive salaries, perks, and stockholders.  The earnings of middle class workers have largely remained the same.  Greed is a disease that cannot be cured by hope.

The ‘Jesus-Walk-On-Water’ Lizard

October 18th, 2017

The ‘Jesus Walk On Water’ Lizard:

He Doesn’t Look A Day Older Than 2017

October 18th, 2017

Pope Benedict wrote a book, “Jesus of Nazareth: The Infancy Narratives.” In it he gives us new evidence about Jesus’ age which was computed by ‘Dennis the Small,’ a sixth century monk.  Dennis forgot to carry the one or something and it turns out Christ was actually 6-years older than the Christian Calendar indicates.

So if you’re ever in a game of ‘Christrivia,’ say Jesus was crucified at 39 rather than 33.  In fact, tell that fact to every stranger you see – it’s a real conversation-starter.

How old was Jesus when he died?

How To Be A Vegan

October 18th, 2017


How To Be A Vegan:


Ginger And Me

October 17th, 2017

This is a picture of Ginger Lynn Allen and me in Las Vegas in the late 1980’s. Ginger was  the #1 Female Film Actress in the Adult Entertainment Industry during that time (Yes “skin flicks” – no apologies).   She and I were “tight” – for a minute.

I forget why the US Post Office did not issue this stamp.  Ginger said it was because the postage rates changed. I forget – but you can find her under “Acknowledgments” in my book, How to Make a Great Presentation in 2-Hours.

When this stamp photo was taken, Ginger was engaged to Charlie Sheen, the Hollywood actor and a basic nut case. I told her it had to be him or me.  Ginger snapped. She chose him – he chose someone else about a month later.

If you ask Ginger about me today, she’ll say, “I don’t remember him.”  Women are like that.

Bowls Of Strange Soup

October 17th, 2017

Brother and Sister recreate photo 20-years later.

“Lumbar Lecture” – Yale Medical School – 1880s

Busy “Moment of Death” 1950s

One of the first “Sex Dolls” 1890s

FINALLY she said “Yes” to the Old Boner.


Standing Pat

October 17th, 2017

In the 1950’s and early ‘60’s, there was no cleaner, Christian crooner than Pat Boone. He had a string of hit love songs so beautiful and innocent, all the white high school boys in America could sing them, swoon over their budding-breast sweeties, and remain virgins.  It was rumored you could get cavities listening to his songs because they were so sweet.

But then came the Beatles, and the Rolling Stones, and the Animals.  Suddenly Pat Boone became as out of place as Mother Theresa in a drunken conga line at a wedding reception.  He was popular at old time Bible camp revivals and state fairs – but pretty much faded into the white, good night.

Then, over 30 years later, Pat Boone flipped out and got into HEAVY METAL.  He started wearing all black leather outfits on television and, at one point, even a heavy dog collar!  In 1997, he released an album In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy which shocked just about everyone.  He took hard rock and heavy metal songs and converted them into a jazz/big band style. The album hit the Billboard record charts making it Boone’s first hit album in 35 years!  Still today, no one has any idea why he did it.

Except me – I’m laughing my ass off! Way to bust ‘em, Pat!

Pat Boone and Heavy Metal:


Good News, America!

October 16th, 2017

Conservatives Drowning in Hypocrisy

October 16th, 2017

“Damn Obama spends more time playing golf than Tiger Woods. When I’m President, I won’t have time to play golf.”

‘Tonight You Belong To Me’

October 15th, 2017

Patience and Prudence: